Alright. Have a seat and get comfy before you read this monster post. Today was NUTS.

Barium Sulfate 

… Is the WORST. We woke up at 5 AM so my mom could drink the Barium. Turns out “vanilla smoothie” actually means “liquid drywall”. She threw up twice just trying to get it down.

*Barium Sulfate is a contrast liquid used to coat the walls of the intestines so they can see what’s going on during the CT scans.*

So after chugging two bottles of that drink from hell, we get to the hospital and they give her an injection of radioactive material so that they can see her bones really well on the bone scan they were also scheduled to do today. After the injection, mom asked when the CT scan is, and they say 12:45. We were told it was at 7 AM!

I was furious. Apparently she wasn’t supposed to drink the barium until 10:45, but we were told wrong by the pharmacist. To make a long story short, she had to chug more barium and reschedule the bone scan for Monday morning. So frustrating.

First Oncology Appointment

We met with Dr. Juvvadi at 12. As we started talking with her, Dr. Clifford, mom’s surgeon called mom. I answered and handed the phone to mom. Dr. Clifford then asked to talk to Dr. Juvvadi. As we waited, we could hear Dr. Juvvadi say, “The ER. I’ll make sure she gets there now.” Or something like that. She then told us that the CT scan results came back, and that there is a large blood clot in mom’s lung and she needed to go to the ER right away. I got mom in a wheelchair (she’s not supposed to move with the clot) and wheeled her straight to the ER.

Apparently blood clots are extremely serious, especially when in a lung. Mom is having no symptoms from this clot (shocking to everyone), so if this had not been caught today … we wouldn’t have known. I can’t even talk about that. I began thinking about that while in the ER as they ran tests, and then something unfamiliar hit me: overwhelming gratitude that my mom has cancer. If not for this stupid, frustrating, terrible illness, we would not have even known and it could have been fatal. Crazy how life works, huh? That gratitude was cut a little short when we were told the cancer is what caused the clot, but then again of course it is. Hence the “ish” in the title of this post… Still SO grateful that they found the clot.

We’re now in the hospital for a few days and mom’s on blood thinner meds so the clot can dissolve. She feels totally fine, so being on 100% bed rest is frustrating and feels silly, but I’m making sure she stays put. 😉 Sadie and her fiancé are on their way here from Tulsa, so we’ll watch movies and hang out all weekend. We’re also so grateful that mom’s parents came into town and were able to come be with us at the hospital. She’s so loved!

The CT Results

As if that wasn’t enough drama, as we were about to leave Dr. Juvvadi’s office, she informed us that they found a tiny spot on mom’s lung. This spot is so small that they can’t even biopsy it, and Dr. Juvvadi isn’t even worried about it. If it is cancerous, chemo will easily take care of it.

They also found a spot on the liver. That mass measures about 2.7 cm. Dr. Juvvadi wants to biopsy this mass to determine if it’s malignant or not, but that can’t be done until this whole blood clot mess is stabilized, so we have to wait to know. We’re clinging to the possibility that it is benign. There are many explanations of what it could be other than cancer. Regardless of what the biopsy tells us, treatment with chemotherapy will not change. Please pray it is benign. PLEASE.

The Worst Part

Today was hard. So. Dang. Hard.

Just when you think you have a hold on things and you can finally wrap your head around the situation, it changes. When the doctor said that cancer was no longer priority and now we had to push that aside to focus on a new challenge, I was so confused. How do you “put a pin” in cancer? How is that not the top priority? How could there possibly be more we need to be afraid of? How can we know something was seen in her liver on that CT scan and not know if it should terrify us? But not knowing is so terrifying.

The Best Part

My mom is alive. Not only is she alive, but she feels good and she is positive and happy and awesome. I’m so grateful for that. If it hadn’t been for that scan today, today could have been devastating and horrible. So we will take hard days over that any day. She’s got this.

Phew… Sorry that got a little heavy towards the end. This day has just worn on me a little, but we’re feeling good and grateful and above everything, we love our Father in Heaven and His Son. I really felt Him carrying us through today.

As always, I’ll keep you posted! Thank you for the love and support. It is so very appreciated. ♥️

Love y’all,

Sydnie