What We Know

Mama Update:

How great is my mom? I mean it, she is great. She is strong, and she is beautiful. She is kind, and she is hilarious. She is awesome. I mean, really, cancer doesn’t stand a chance.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer a few days ago. What we do know:

They biopsied a tumor in her right breast (estimated size of 2 – 2.7 cm according to the ultrasound) as well as one axillary (armpit) lymph node. Both are cancerous.

That’s literally all we know. That information is all I got from reading the pathology reports three times trying to decipher it. I don’t know what’s more frustrating, the fact that she has cancer or that we don’t really know anything about it. It’s freaking stupid. We’ll hopefully know more later today when we meet with Dr. Clifford, a breast cancer surgeon. We don’t think we’ll know the stage of the cancer until she has surgery and they can biopsy or take out more lymph nodes, which will hopefully be this week (she wants surgery to happen ASAP).

Yesterday we spent our day lounging around watching the Bronco game and a lot of HGTV and ordering a bunch of surgery recovery stuff from Amazon. If you’ve been through breast cancer surgery or anything similar, please leave suggestions of what to get her in the comments! (You can comment by clicking “leave a comment” by the date above.) I want to make her as comfortable as possible while making this as easy as it can be. We know it will be so hard. And we know it will suck so much, but all we can do is stay positive and buy random crap on Amazon!

My Thoughts (if you’re interested):

Disclaimer: I posted this on Facebook as well. #sorrynotsorry

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

– Alma 7:12 (from the Book of Mormon)

I was having a really hard time the other night when we got the news, and I found so much comfort in reading Alma, Chapter 7 in the Book of Mormon with my husband. Then Forrest asked me what “to succor” meant, and I said “to help”. He then told me that “to succor” means “to run to”. He explained that when we are in need, Christ runs to us. He runs to us to help us and to lift us in our deepest, darkest, most difficult times. He has experienced the lowest of lows and can take us to the highest of highs. I am so grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for the beautiful gospel a loving Father has created for His beloved children. The hard times are still so hard, but I’m grateful to immediately know what to do in those trying moments. I know where I can turn for peace. I’m grateful that I have been taught to turn to Christ and that I have a testimony of the power of the Atonement. I’m grateful that I can call upon the Spirit for comfort, and I am grateful for the powerul love I feel in my heart that can only be from my Savior running to me in my time of need.

Listen to this talk if you’re looking for inspiration: https://www.lds.org/ensign/2009/09/lessons-from-liberty-jail?lang=eng

Love y’all,

Sydnie

Hi Sydnie & Suzi, Gale Fiasco reached out to me to see if I could share some insight to what you may/may not experience during your journey! I am a 2+ year survivor of Stage 3, triple negative breast cancer. First let me start by saying, yes it sucks and yes it will be a long journey, but with a positive attitude (which i can tell by the posts that you already have) and an amazing support system (you have that too) you can beat this crazy ass thing called Cancer! I won’t sugar coat anything and please do not hesitate to let me know if you have any questions that i may not have touched on. My journey began in Nov 2013, found a lump in the shower, went straight to the doctor, they did a “squish the girls” test (which BTW i had just had in June and there were no issues) and then a few days later, they wanted to do an ultrasound (as i have what they call dense breast or lumpy) to make sure there was no need to go thru unnecessary tests. Well they did that, and decided they wanted to do further test, so biopsy happened, test came back as cancerous. So met with the surgeon who laid out all the same things you discusses, which is really just information overload. Gave us info on all of the different stages, etc. But couldn’t be sure until surgery (we are now in mid December, military docs and appoints take forever). But at the initial doctors appointment he believes it to be Stage 1, possible 2. So more test follow, like heart, ekg, chest to make sure the ticker and lungs are not affected in any way. So surgery is scheduled for Feb 6…based on what they see from all the test, i will definitely have chemo and possibly radiation, depending on staged, etc. So you try and take all that information in and deal with it the best you can. My attitude and favorite saying from the beginning was “it is what it is, the alternative is way worse”, so was as positive as i could be through every appointment, pre-surgery appt, etc. I had a breast cancer adviser assigned to me, she would be the one that would explain everything to me, if i had questions, i went to her, she was AMAZING! She was there at every appointment and on surgery day. Surgery day comes, oh and i choose to have the single mastectomy, left breast, say good bye, i never had big girls, so itty bitty titty committee was not a big deal to me. Thing they did tell me to remember…looking down at your breast area, you now see breast, after surgery you wont, and you will think you are fat, because before the boobs blocked, most if not all of your waist, he encouraged me not to think about dieting, loosing weight, etc. You will most likely get a drain, which you will have to drain for at least 2 weeks. Kind of a pain in the ass, but none the less you need to do it, and keep the area clean around where the tube is. You won’t be able to shower for a while, i was able to take a bath (with assistance from my amazing husband) like 3-4 days after surgery. You will be sore and move slowly. The hospital sent me home with a heart shaped pillow (some little old lady organization makes them for surgery patients) they are great, as you can use it as an arm rest, if you have to cough clutch it to your chest. take the medicine they prescribe. I have a very high tolerance for pain, so i only took it as needed, but if you need it, TAKE IT! Make sure to get you some pj’s that button in the front, they will be easier to get in and out of.
Surgery was successful, they did the dye test prior to, and they is a special dye they put in prior to the surgery, then they take the 1st 3 lymphnodes closest to the breast to see if they are cancerous during the mastectomy. I stayed one night in the hospital and came home the next afternoon. Like i said, pretty sore, slept a lot. Make sure they give you some stool softeners, as constipation can be a big issue after surgery, and it was! But up as much as possible, whenever possible. After a week home, not going outside, i had to get out of the house. Made my husband take me to Walmart, yes i must have been desperate! So about a 5 days after surgery i get a call from my surgeon, the pathology results are back on the lymphnodes. Yep, all 3 were cancerous. So for sure I’m at a Stage 2 now. And because all 3 were cancerous, he wanted me to have what they call a lymphnode dissection. They go in and cut the under arm and remove all of the lymphnodes. That surgery was almost 3 weeks after the 1st one. So now that was way more painful than the mastectomy, they cut all of the muscles, nerves, etc. to get all of the lymphnodes. So your range of motion is really hampered. They took in all 30 more lymphodes, and this leave you more susceptible to infection since the nodes are what catches all of the germs, etc. So i was told to be very careful about who i am around (no sickies) don’t eat out at buffets (lots of germs there) no salad bars, wash your veggies and fruits, i started to have a smoothie everyday, and went to GNC and got the SuperFoods Supreme, 1 scoop is like 13 servings of fruits and veggies. Mix it with frozen fruits, yogurt, milk, etc. what ever you like to put in your smoothies.
So now i get the next call from my surgeon, the path result are back and not looking good. Out of the 30 more they took, 18 were cancerous, so now i’m at stage 3, also they determined i am triple negative, so as you already know, that is harder to treat. Now we gather ourselves and regroup. So the plan is to treat it aggressively, they do a PET scan to make sure there are no other areas that are of concern. That comes back negative…which is good, means it hasn’t spread from the lymphnodes. So no we meet the Oncologist, he is AMAZING! We set a plan in motion, 1st chemo treatment is on April 1st (had to heal from the surgeries and schedule all these other appointments in between, no not April Fools! LOL…) also had a port put in my right chest area, as i really didn’t want them to stick me every time i had chemo. So treatment plan was to have Adriamycin (they also call this the red devil cause a few hours after treatment your pee will be red!)(chemical name: doxorubicin) and Cytoxan (chemical name: cyclophosphamide) every 2 weeks for 8 weeks, then weekly Taxol for 12 weeks. 1st treatment i didn’t know what to expect, but overall it wasn’t that bad. It actually took 2 treatments before my hair started to thin and fall out. I remember Easter Sunday in my bathroom cutting my hair and shaving it, my husband helped, that was hard. Probably the hardest for me. Now to the good news, i never got sick. No throwing up, no diarrhea, nothing. I did get tired usually around 3 days after each treatment. 24 hours after each treatment, i gave myself a shot of Neulasta, it seemed to do the job as i really never lost my appetite, didn’t get the mouth sores, etc. I did loose a little weight (which was needed!) So i go through the first 8 weeks with flying colors, so when it comes time for the second drug, Taxol…i had a heart to heart with my doc, asked him if i need this round, he said yes to be on the safe side, you don’t want a rogue cancer cell floating around. So i said ok, but every week, really…convinced him to triple my dose and only go every other week. He only agreed to do the 1st treatment and see how i do, supposedly Taxol is stronger and more painful than the other 2. So i agree, have the 1st treatment of Taxol and all is well, i did have some bone pain, but nothing major. He was shocked. So every other week, i went in and had 3 more done, but by tripling the dose, my day was VERY long, it was about a 5-6 hour treatment. But in the end it was all good. So i finished treatments on July 8th. All was good, no complaints, no issues. Had to wait about a month then started radiation (only had to do this because of the lymphnodes) they did 36 sessions. Everyday Monday – Friday…that started around the end of August and ended in early October. They were for the most part pretty easy, hardest part was being still during the zapping, as you cant move an my arm was over my head and it would go numb, sorta painful. More uncomfortable really. So now fast ward 2 years and all is well. No issues, i have had some MRI as a precaution, but no issues. My surgeon and oncologist were so pleased with how i handled all the surgeries, treatments, etc. I tried to always have a positive outlook, cause getting pissed or sad wasn’t going to change the results. As you know Triple negative has a higher re-occurrence within the 1st 2 years, so now that i am past all of that, my re-occurrence drops every year.
Now, 2 + years, i still have not had the reconstruction surgery, i went to a few of the appointments and heard what they had to say, my husband is really against it, he doesn’t want me to have any more surgeries if not necessary, and he doesn’t think it is necessary. I have a prosthetic that i wear on a daily, which does get old, and bathing suits, and low cut shirts are out, but the idea of spending 5 days in ICU didn’t really appeal to me, they said it had to be that long because they one i was going to have is also a tummy tuck (plus) they take the muscle from the tummy area and pull it up to make a breast, but the tissue has to have blood flow going to it before they allow you to go home. So that is my issue now. But it is not a deal breaker. I wake up everyday and i am thankful for that…so to be #teamoneboob (that’s what my son said) i can handle that!
Now things that i felt were good to know, if you are not interested in a wig, which i wasn’t, i found a website called scarves.net and they have videos that show you how to wear scarves in various ways. I had like 30 of them, there was a wig shop/hair type store in our town and it would go and get new ones all the time. I feel like i have rambled on, but wanted to give you my perspective, i’m sure i have left out something, but like i said in the beginning, please email me any time with any questions you have, or if you just want to chat. You are and will be in my prayers on a daily…as will your entire family, as they are going to have a hard time, not sure what to do, how to do it, etc. Patience on all sides and love will conquer all!

Sorry to be so long winded…you are now a #sisterinpink we will forever share a bond! God Bless you on your journey and may your KICK CANCERS ASS!!!!

3 thoughts on “What We Know”

Tara Carter

September 26, 2016 at 10:33 pm

Give them hell Suzie Q!! I’m sending you a funny pillow for the day you recover from your surgery. We love you and stay strong.
Kendall House

September 27, 2016 at 1:45 am

Hi Sydnie & Suzi, Gale Fiasco reached out to me to see if I could share some insight to what you may/may not experience during your journey! I am a 2+ year survivor of Stage 3, triple negative breast cancer. First let me start by saying, yes it sucks and yes it will be a long journey, but with a positive attitude (which i can tell by the posts that you already have) and an amazing support system (you have that too) you can beat this crazy ass thing called Cancer! I won’t sugar coat anything and please do not hesitate to let me know if you have any questions that i may not have touched on. My journey began in Nov 2013, found a lump in the shower, went straight to the doctor, they did a “squish the girls” test (which BTW i had just had in June and there were no issues) and then a few days later, they wanted to do an ultrasound (as i have what they call dense breast or lumpy) to make sure there was no need to go thru unnecessary tests. Well they did that, and decided they wanted to do further test, so biopsy happened, test came back as cancerous. So met with the surgeon who laid out all the same things you discusses, which is really just information overload. Gave us info on all of the different stages, etc. But couldn’t be sure until surgery (we are now in mid December, military docs and appoints take forever). But at the initial doctors appointment he believes it to be Stage 1, possible 2. So more test follow, like heart, ekg, chest to make sure the ticker and lungs are not affected in any way. So surgery is scheduled for Feb 6…based on what they see from all the test, i will definitely have chemo and possibly radiation, depending on staged, etc. So you try and take all that information in and deal with it the best you can. My attitude and favorite saying from the beginning was “it is what it is, the alternative is way worse”, so was as positive as i could be through every appointment, pre-surgery appt, etc. I had a breast cancer adviser assigned to me, she would be the one that would explain everything to me, if i had questions, i went to her, she was AMAZING! She was there at every appointment and on surgery day. Surgery day comes, oh and i choose to have the single mastectomy, left breast, say good bye, i never had big girls, so itty bitty titty committee was not a big deal to me. Thing they did tell me to remember…looking down at your breast area, you now see breast, after surgery you wont, and you will think you are fat, because before the boobs blocked, most if not all of your waist, he encouraged me not to think about dieting, loosing weight, etc. You will most likely get a drain, which you will have to drain for at least 2 weeks. Kind of a pain in the ass, but none the less you need to do it, and keep the area clean around where the tube is. You won’t be able to shower for a while, i was able to take a bath (with assistance from my amazing husband) like 3-4 days after surgery. You will be sore and move slowly. The hospital sent me home with a heart shaped pillow (some little old lady organization makes them for surgery patients) they are great, as you can use it as an arm rest, if you have to cough clutch it to your chest. take the medicine they prescribe. I have a very high tolerance for pain, so i only took it as needed, but if you need it, TAKE IT! Make sure to get you some pj’s that button in the front, they will be easier to get in and out of.
Surgery was successful, they did the dye test prior to, and they is a special dye they put in prior to the surgery, then they take the 1st 3 lymphnodes closest to the breast to see if they are cancerous during the mastectomy. I stayed one night in the hospital and came home the next afternoon. Like i said, pretty sore, slept a lot. Make sure they give you some stool softeners, as constipation can be a big issue after surgery, and it was! But up as much as possible, whenever possible. After a week home, not going outside, i had to get out of the house. Made my husband take me to Walmart, yes i must have been desperate! So about a 5 days after surgery i get a call from my surgeon, the pathology results are back on the lymphnodes. Yep, all 3 were cancerous. So for sure I’m at a Stage 2 now. And because all 3 were cancerous, he wanted me to have what they call a lymphnode dissection. They go in and cut the under arm and remove all of the lymphnodes. That surgery was almost 3 weeks after the 1st one. So now that was way more painful than the mastectomy, they cut all of the muscles, nerves, etc. to get all of the lymphnodes. So your range of motion is really hampered. They took in all 30 more lymphodes, and this leave you more susceptible to infection since the nodes are what catches all of the germs, etc. So i was told to be very careful about who i am around (no sickies) don’t eat out at buffets (lots of germs there) no salad bars, wash your veggies and fruits, i started to have a smoothie everyday, and went to GNC and got the SuperFoods Supreme, 1 scoop is like 13 servings of fruits and veggies. Mix it with frozen fruits, yogurt, milk, etc. what ever you like to put in your smoothies.
So now i get the next call from my surgeon, the path result are back and not looking good. Out of the 30 more they took, 18 were cancerous, so now i’m at stage 3, also they determined i am triple negative, so as you already know, that is harder to treat. Now we gather ourselves and regroup. So the plan is to treat it aggressively, they do a PET scan to make sure there are no other areas that are of concern. That comes back negative…which is good, means it hasn’t spread from the lymphnodes. So no we meet the Oncologist, he is AMAZING! We set a plan in motion, 1st chemo treatment is on April 1st (had to heal from the surgeries and schedule all these other appointments in between, no not April Fools! LOL…) also had a port put in my right chest area, as i really didn’t want them to stick me every time i had chemo. So treatment plan was to have Adriamycin (they also call this the red devil cause a few hours after treatment your pee will be red!)(chemical name: doxorubicin) and Cytoxan (chemical name: cyclophosphamide) every 2 weeks for 8 weeks, then weekly Taxol for 12 weeks. 1st treatment i didn’t know what to expect, but overall it wasn’t that bad. It actually took 2 treatments before my hair started to thin and fall out. I remember Easter Sunday in my bathroom cutting my hair and shaving it, my husband helped, that was hard. Probably the hardest for me. Now to the good news, i never got sick. No throwing up, no diarrhea, nothing. I did get tired usually around 3 days after each treatment. 24 hours after each treatment, i gave myself a shot of Neulasta, it seemed to do the job as i really never lost my appetite, didn’t get the mouth sores, etc. I did loose a little weight (which was needed!) So i go through the first 8 weeks with flying colors, so when it comes time for the second drug, Taxol…i had a heart to heart with my doc, asked him if i need this round, he said yes to be on the safe side, you don’t want a rogue cancer cell floating around. So i said ok, but every week, really…convinced him to triple my dose and only go every other week. He only agreed to do the 1st treatment and see how i do, supposedly Taxol is stronger and more painful than the other 2. So i agree, have the 1st treatment of Taxol and all is well, i did have some bone pain, but nothing major. He was shocked. So every other week, i went in and had 3 more done, but by tripling the dose, my day was VERY long, it was about a 5-6 hour treatment. But in the end it was all good. So i finished treatments on July 8th. All was good, no complaints, no issues. Had to wait about a month then started radiation (only had to do this because of the lymphnodes) they did 36 sessions. Everyday Monday – Friday…that started around the end of August and ended in early October. They were for the most part pretty easy, hardest part was being still during the zapping, as you cant move an my arm was over my head and it would go numb, sorta painful. More uncomfortable really. So now fast ward 2 years and all is well. No issues, i have had some MRI as a precaution, but no issues. My surgeon and oncologist were so pleased with how i handled all the surgeries, treatments, etc. I tried to always have a positive outlook, cause getting pissed or sad wasn’t going to change the results. As you know Triple negative has a higher re-occurrence within the 1st 2 years, so now that i am past all of that, my re-occurrence drops every year.
Now, 2 + years, i still have not had the reconstruction surgery, i went to a few of the appointments and heard what they had to say, my husband is really against it, he doesn’t want me to have any more surgeries if not necessary, and he doesn’t think it is necessary. I have a prosthetic that i wear on a daily, which does get old, and bathing suits, and low cut shirts are out, but the idea of spending 5 days in ICU didn’t really appeal to me, they said it had to be that long because they one i was going to have is also a tummy tuck (plus) they take the muscle from the tummy area and pull it up to make a breast, but the tissue has to have blood flow going to it before they allow you to go home. So that is my issue now. But it is not a deal breaker. I wake up everyday and i am thankful for that…so to be #teamoneboob (that’s what my son said) i can handle that!
Now things that i felt were good to know, if you are not interested in a wig, which i wasn’t, i found a website called scarves.net and they have videos that show you how to wear scarves in various ways. I had like 30 of them, there was a wig shop/hair type store in our town and it would go and get new ones all the time. I feel like i have rambled on, but wanted to give you my perspective, i’m sure i have left out something, but like i said in the beginning, please email me any time with any questions you have, or if you just want to chat. You are and will be in my prayers on a daily…as will your entire family, as they are going to have a hard time, not sure what to do, how to do it, etc. Patience on all sides and love will conquer all!

Sorry to be so long winded…you are now a #sisterinpink we will forever share a bond! God Bless you on your journey and may your KICK CANCERS ASS!!!!
Pam Horswill (Tubbs)

September 27, 2016 at 3:42 am

Sydnie- I went to HS with your mom. We cheered together. Would love to send her something. Could you please give me an address? God bless you all. In my daily prayers!

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Well, This Sucks.

Updates on Suzi's Stupid Cancer

What We Know

3 thoughts on “What We Know”